"Fun Foods to Stick your Penis In" Has Been Shut Down!
The Story: I was sitting on vacation, bored out of my mind and realized how much I missed my girlfriend. So I just happened to be flipping through TV stations and came across the movie "American Pie". To my surprise, the pie fucking scene just happened to be the first thing on the screen. After seeing the pie sex, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Hmm...I wonder what other types of food would be fun to stick your penis in." And thus was born something similar to what you will see below.
About 6 months passed and I receive an angry email about this page and that they were going to have me shut down, well sadly enough, my site ended up being shut down. I removed this page and also made additional changes to my site and was back up and running about 2 weeks later, but I was still bothered that "the man" shut me down. So I just happen to be talking to my good old friend Angry Pickle Man the other day and he expressed his concern for the site and felt his precense could perhaps bring back a absolutely kick-ass page. In short, Angry Pickle Man has come to save the day!
So...without further ado...
FUN FOODS TO STICK YOUR PICKLE IN
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Angry Pickle Man says: Please allow me to quote the Beastie Boys on this one, but "If I knew it was going to be this kind of party, I'd stick my pickle in the mashed potatoes." The mashed potatoes are kind of warm and mushy all around. Somebody pour some hot gravy over here. Aw...yeah. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Nothing better than some good old fashion porridge to drop your pickle stick into. Just slowly slip him in and stir the porridge around a bit. If you don't believe me, just ask Goldilocks of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. Last time she had some good pickle in her porridge she said it was "Just Right." |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Oh Dear God that is some good watermelon! Nothing beats that nice slippery water feel. Just drill a hole in that bad ass melon and go to town. Be careful when someone later tries to eat your pickled melon and complains that the seeds are kind of runny. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: This reminds of me of sex with...um...ignore that comment. How bout a hot plate of linguine and meaty sauce? I love the sauce all over my face. And I bet you think those are meat balls on the plate. Wanna taste? |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Nothing better to wash down a nice bowl of spaghetti than a nice warm glass of pickle milk. Carson loves his special milk filled with Vitamin P. Don't you Carson? So much you lick it off the mustache. Psst...he loves it! |
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Angry Pickle Man says: "Hey Massa, would ya like me to get somma dat cream from dat Mr. Carson for your cereal? I knows hows you likes ya Cream of Wheat." |
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Angry Pickle Man says: What do you like on your footlong? Mustard, ketchup, relish...wait...no relish...don't ever eat relish! A good old fashion pickle looks great squeezed between a nice set of buns. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Chocolate pudding reminds of that time I was banging my girl and I slipped. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: YOU SICK BASTARD! I am talking about posting your pickle between some Girl Scout cookies. Wait. That still sounds bad. Well, they might be 18. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Mexican girls love a little cheese and pickle in their meaty tacos. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Aw yeah. The Quizno's subs are toasted for your pleasure. Go ahead and just slide your pickle right between that sloppy roast beef. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Even Bill Cosby knows there's always room for jello. |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Once there was cocaine in the soda, now there is pickle, lemon, and vanilla. Tiny bubbles tickle my pickle! |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Donuts, bagels, and most other pastries were meant for pickle poking. Whatever you do, don't eat the cream filled. Anyone have some coffee to wash this down with? |
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Angry Pickle Man says: Baby food. Open wide here comes the choo-choo chain. |
