HateMail

Hey all, well here is the first set of "worthy" emails for me to comment on. Keep the love and hate coming. Enjoy.

Hey man...I love your site. I was wondering if you could help me with a few bits for a comedy Roast for my friend Kyle. I'm just gonna assume you know what a Roast is...when you insult the fucking person for ever. We're both 19...i'm doing it for his 20th birthday in a few months. We're hoping to get shit loads of people there...so...I was wondering if you could maybe help me out if you know anything good. He's a preppy good shy quiet boy if that helps...Let me know if you're up for helping.

JS: Well Bryyyyyy, it is really quite a coincidence that you are Roasting Kyle, especially since I banged his mom last night. How is that whore doing? So, how long has Kyle been loving the cock? 5...6 years? With his Old Navy Performance Fleece, it is no wonder he has a much easier time picking men than women. And tell him that I am sorry about his face. Anyway, sorry...I don't think I can come up with anything to help you with the roast.

Dear Boogyman,

I think your insults are pretty good but it just makes me think that you are a conceded asshole that thinks he is better than everyone when he is really just a fat sack of shit. Grow up and use your insults for better things than insulting the nicest people you are ever gonna meet. I bet your American because every american I have ever met has their head as far up their ass as you do.

- Paul S

JS: Boogyman? Do you have nightmares about me? Paul, I have an easy 3 step process to resolve your complaint. 1. Bend your left arm (provided you have one) down and behind your back. 2. Feel around for a 6 to 7 foot pole (trust me...its there) and grab. 3. Slowly pull downwards and get that broomstick out of your ass. As for being a "fat sack of shit", I wish I was fat cause then I would sit on you and crush the maple syrup out of you. After that, maybe then you will see that I AM better than everyone else and Americans will always be better than Canadians...except at hockey and log cutting.

JS: So I guess you would be GEH then? My bad. (double fist pound against chest) My bad.

I just visit your site with the whole family guy and the simple life thing. I would just like to say that it is the stupidest thing I've ever seen, and that you guys have made a mockery of Family guy. - Rob C.

JS: Dear Rob, if you are going to make a comment about being stupid, maybe you should at least try to use correct grammar. "I just visit your site"? My 12 year old nephew can speak better English than you. However, you almost redeemed yourself by using a quality word like "mockery". Now go give your mom a kiss for me.

i really don't appreciate the black neighbor hood part i feel violated and I am speaking with an attorney about your web site its a disgrace to african american

JS: Wow! I apologize for my ignorance. I had no idea that African Americans were now buddy buddy with the KKK. My bad. Hell, even being white I would kick a KKK member's ass just to beat the hate out of him. Next thing you'll be telling me that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Martina, I will not fall for your silly ruse. Lastly, my Jamaican friend Macky said that he is so highly offended by your view that all "black" people are African American that he is going to speak with an attorney about your disgrace to his people. How do you like dem apples?

hey I watched the super bowl simpsons and noticed that they made a donkey kong AND killing flipper ref. did you help write the episode or something. love the site.

JS: ...And yet not as much as your mom. Did you just CHOKE like your team trying to get that one out? Anyway, are they selling matching purses to go with the A-Rod shirts this year? I got to give you props just for saying "RS suck" still though, but we were well past due.

I just read yer story of the Best Buy guy that couldn't find "the Music"...GoD I was dying ... That's some funny shit dude...ANyways ..I'd actually explain the situation from which I send this EML but seriously nevermind...

JS: Hey there Johnny, I really appreciate the love and I cannot agree with you more that chicks are nuts. By the way...if chicks are so nuts, why are you using a girl's computer? Is Beth W. your other personality or does she have you kidnapped and caged? This is getting too creepy for me...moving on....

JS: Fuck you douche bag. I hope you fall off a cliff onto a bed of nails. Oh wait...I mean...thanks.