I make your party AWESOME for just $15!*

That's right folks, for just $15* I will come to your Party, Bar Mitzvah, Wedding, Bris, or even Funeral and make it AWESOME! You would not believe the crazy ass shit I will pull off to make your event memorable to everyone. I guarantee with me at your party there will be naked bitches and crazy sex everywhere. Even your dog will be fucked up.

Here's what some satisfied customers had to say:

"That mutha-fucka drank all the beer and pissed in my fridge." - Aaron from Manchester

"He was so funny at the party that I just had to take him home. After a night of great sex he woke me up by slapping his dick in my face. That asshole hasn't called me since." - Teresa from Grand Rapids

"I think he stole my Gerbil." - Carl from Lancaster

"ASSHOLE!" - Dave from Boston

When you have me at your party, you have no idea what will happen, but it will be memorable. Of course you could choose not to invite me, but then your party would suck. You wouldn't want your party to suck, would you?

*$15 is a portion of the fee. All beer and travel must be paid for by hirer. A bj from a hot chick or hooker is also required. You are also liable for bail, if I should get arrested. And I may bang your mom...

twice...

in the ass...

while your dad watches.